


A Devilishly Deep Voiced Dad (Corpse Husband X Reader/Self-Insert)

by Lambyy



Category: Corpse Husband - Fandom, Corpse_Husband
Genre: Basically Dream Daddy Except Corpse Is The Dad, Cause I felt It, How Do I Tag, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Not My First Fanfic, Self-Insert, Teacher AU Thing, dilf, no beta we die like men, this was a random idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27545686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lambyy/pseuds/Lambyy
Summary: After one of Y/N's students gets in trouble, he calls their father to report about the incident... afterwards he makes up a variety of reasons to keep calling...This is a crack fanfic and by crack fanfic, I mean I am channeling all my writing skills to return to my roots of self-insert fanfic. I won't mention my wattpad atrocities, but just know that this isn't my first rodeo.
Comments: 51
Kudos: 94





	1. Pilot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah. By the way, Corpse's kid is named Nathan. Corpse's name is just gonna be Corpse. Their family last name is Husband. Simple as that. I'm too lazy to look further for fanmade names. If this gets 20 kudos I'll write more. As an homage to my 10-year-old self, this is gonna be in first person. Another thing. Nathan is a fourth-grader because I say so.

_ I couldn’t possibly have prepared for what would happen after I called. Nothing could have. _

\----

I watched as Nathan sat in front of me, his gaze on the floor to avoid my eyes. Looking through the system, I easily found his profile that housed all the information the school system would need. After all, Husband isn’t a very common last name. Once I got the number, I typed it into the phone while checking it multiple times to make sure I got it right. I took my time with the typing to allow Nathan time to ruminate on his actions; time for him to think of his case. After I entered the last digit I pressed enter and brought the phone to my ear and listened to the phone ring a few times. After the third chime, there was an answer. He only spoke one word to me, but it shook me to my core.

“ **Hello** ?” His voice was such a deep growl, a sound that sent chills down my spine. With that one word, all of my composure was gone. I had called parents dozens and dozens of times, but this one contrasted all of that monotony. I sat in shock for a while, staring blankly at Nathan before he repeated. “ **Hellooo** ?” I flinched and managed out a sentence with a stutter:

“G-Good evening, Mr. Husband… U-Um.” I swallowed afterwards, trying to calm myself. “This is your son’s teacher, Mr. Y/N. N-Nathan was uh...” I couldn’t think, my brain was so frazzled by that voice. I couldn’t possibly have prepared for what would happen after I called. Nothing could have. “He…”  _ What was I going to sa- _

“ **What did he do.** ” He cut off my thoughts, a bit of annoyance in his voice from my fumbling. My heart was beating so hard that it rang through my ears. This was too much, but after a little bit I regained control of my mind.

“N-Nathan was har… harassing a couple girls with a few other boys. The… The um… Girls came in from rec-cess with… with worms in their hair. Y-Your son’s behavior was unacceptable… and very r-rude. He has g-gotten a write-up as a warning… I-I’m just calling to let you know about it...” I had to cover the bottom part of the phone to take a few breaths. He’s barely spoken and yet I’m having such an immense reaction to his voice. Nathan seemed a little smug at my fumbling, now watching me.

“ **So you’re telling me that my son was being a prick. To impress his friends. I’ll have you know this isn’t the first time.** ” His voice rumbled through me again, my mind hanging onto every single word he spoke to me. I mustered up enough thought to once again speak.

“This isn’t? W-Well I hope this’ll be his last time… doing stuff… like this...” My hand was now clenching to the khaki fabric that dressed my thigh.  _ Please don’t let this be the last time. _

“ **Yeah. He’s a bit of a little shit. I’ll have to do something about this when I get home. Well, thank you Y/N for telling me about this. Have a good rest of your day.** ” He hung up soon after, leaving me with the lingering sensation of hearing his voice. I still had chills from it as I slowly set the phone down. I stared at the phone before looking at Nathan.

“Alright… You’re free to go to the music room…” My voice was a hoarse whisper, staring at the child. He got up and ran out the door without another word. Luckily for me, he enjoyed music so I didn’t have to walk him to the room. Once he was gone I could finally stand, a painful tightness in my pants. I was embarrassed with myself, but I had to go to the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. See this as a pilot if you will; a tasting. 20 kudos means 20 people who want to read. So let's see how it does. If it does get to 20 kudos, I do promise that I'll write more than this measly amount of words. So, until next time :)


	2. Red

_ The air is cold on my skin, an empty void with sounds of various button clicks around me. My eyes adjust to the darkness, soon noticing a figure standing a distance in front of me. The figure is obscured for some reason with a hoodie and a twisted bunny mask. I’m drawn to him so I start walking. Despite not seeing his eyes, I can feel his eyes piercing me with his intense gaze. I walk towards him with a harsh thumping in my test. I want him. I need him. I yearn deeply for him. How do I know it’s a  _ _ him _ _? Now a fog is rolling in, he’s trying to leave. I run after him, my hand grazing his hoodie a- _

My alarm makes me flinch out of my dream, making my dream fade from memory as I try desperately to remember it. Within moments it is already gone. Must not have been important. Probably just processing what happened yesterday anyways… Yesterday… that was insane. I was insane. Somehow I managed to finish my business in a timely manner and… the rest is almost a haze. It was ridiculous how much I fixated on his voice. Shivers went down my spine just by the thought of it. I need to talk to him again, but I just don’t know how. Maybe Nathan will stir up some mischief for me… god that’s such an awful thing to hope for. Leaving some kind of fate in the hands of a fourth grader. With a blast of courage, I hoist myself out of bed to shower and get dressed. I’m still very groggy but have enough consciousness to manage to not pass out while showering. After getting dressed, I walked out to my vehicle to drive to school and mentally prepare myself on the way.

Today was a normal day, everything was just the usual except for the longing I had for his voice. My mind could barely fathom what he could possibly look like. Bad boy archetypes were the only thing to flood my mind, just a punk of a man. Any other aesthetic almost seemed wrong in my mind. So many ideas, so many fantasies…  _ oh god the fantasies _ . Everything was just going okay until I got a call during recess and the whole day was bumped up by five notches. “Hello?” I answered, not yet recognizing who this could be until mere moments after my word.   
  
**“This is Nathan’s dad. Could you tell him I’m gonna pick him up today.”**

I could feel my breath get caught in my throat, his messages are straight to the point. So concise with an air of brevity, it makes me wonder how conversations would go between us.  _ What would we talk about? Each other? What does he like… I really need to learn about him. _ My thoughts are spiraling, I can’t think. Then it crosses my mind,  _ what did he say? He won’t like that I wasn’t listening. _ I take a swallow, mentally practicing the words for a second.   
  
“M-My uh… Apologies. I got a -bit- distracted, c-could you repeat?” My voice cracked slightly while talking, something that sounded like I was in the midst of puberty. He gives a sigh on the other end of the line before going to repeat himself.    
  
**“Tell Nathan I’m gonna pick him up today. He knows where to go.”**

I nod my head as if he can see it before realizing how stupid I must look. “Okay. Got it.” My heart is thumping against my chest again.  _ Does this mean I’ll get to see him? _ My brain whirs with thoughts of what he drives, of what he wears… just of him. How does he consume every thought in my mind just by speaking? My thoughts are diminished when I hear him hang up. I slowly put the phone down and just ponder the experience. I already missed his voice, like an addict going through a period of withdrawal. I never realized how much I loved it until it was already gone. It became increasingly clear to me that there was one thing I’d have to desperately do: see him when he comes to pick up his son. How I would enact this plan was the glaring drawback to the whole thought. “I could… go with him to the pick up area…” I whisper to myself before shaking my head. My own idea kinda creeped me out, sure he’s nine but he’s old enough to traverse the school area without assistance… Following him to the spot sounded even worse.  _ Is there a good idea that doesn’t sound creepy?  _ I sit down with a sigh and just think of ways that I could meet up with him. I’m just going completely crazy at this point, aren’t I… Obsessing over a man just because of his voice is absurd… but I’m that absurdity. I want to be his absurdity. There is soon a wave of sound that fills the hall and all I do is give a sigh.  _ Recess is over. _

  
The rest of the time almost moves at a snail’s pace as I teach the children and give assignments. Despite my time to think of a plan I still draw up nothing but blanks. Maybe it’s me being dumb or quite literally having no good plans, but everything seemed hopeless. I just wanna… get to know him. Whether it means through friendship or something more. Probably neither as I quietly weigh my options. Everything just seemed more and more hopeless as I thought about it and by the end of the day I had completely given up. I couldn’t think of anything that would let it happen. So I accepted my fate of not being able to see him. By the end of the day I watched as the children went to their cubbies and grabbed their things. I watched as they talked amongst one another and just got lost in my thoughts. I picked up the room a little bit, thinking about schemes that I could attempt to carry out. Hopefully I can see him in person at some point,  _ would it be too stalker-y if I were to Google him?  _ My gaze returned to the door and all the children had filtered out; a sign that I can leave. In my defeat I got my things and walked out towards the teacher parking lot. As I approached a certain red shirt caught my eye…  _ Nathan. _ Does this mean that…  this is where they meet up. I step towards the door and open it to take a look down at the child who is hunched over while mindlessly playing with a DS. A smile creeps across my face as my hopes are renewed. This was an excuse I could use even if it sounded a little petty in nature. I stand by the door and watch for cars to come and soon enough one did. I study the vehicle, a red camry, and as one detail became clear my hopes deflated.  _ The windows are tinted _ . I respect a man with privacy but I just so badly want to connect a face to a voice. Once Nathan looked up he opened the door and got into the passenger seat. With a strain of a peek and a wave I managed to confirm one detail;  _ he has black hair _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me a little over a month, when Unus Annus was ending some kind of spirit possessed me and I wrote the first chapter with it. This one was a little more difficult without that helpful lil bugger. So I hoped you enjoyed and I promise I'll try to give you something juicy... probably not in the next chapter but maybe relatively soon. I would also like to thank the few of you that have commented on the first chapter <3


	3. Longing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pspspspsps I have food. I'm sorry that these take me a month each :') I love reading all the comments and I feel bad that I can't recognize those of you without an account...

Nathan is the closest thing I have to guess about how his father looks. He has short black hair, _a feature I can now confirm_ , pale skin, and dark blue eyes. I don’t know if the eyes are from him, but his skin gives away the other feature. _I just want to be able to picture him in my head, connect a face to a voice_. All my thoughts just kept leading me to Devon Boswick, especially with how he looked as Rodrick… It’s an odd thought process, but it’s the closest I can come to what he might look like. No matter how I imagine him, the voice just doesn’t fit.   
  
“Why couldn’t he have unnaturally colored hair or a platinum blonde or something! Going off of black hair isn’t very helpful...” I whine aloud to myself, getting dressed for my day. It’s been three days since that peek at him and I still have nothing more than that. Luckily it’s the weekend now, it has been… a long week. I give a sigh and put on a jacket to head out of my house. Today’s spectacularly interesting to-do list included: groceries, a haircut, maybe pick up some dinner, and a trip to the bank; not in that order. Within time Mr. Husband leaves my mind and I’m in my usual cluster of thoughts… as normal as you can get when you typically fantasize about a guy with a deep voice. I go through the motions of each task, starting with the bank. I deposited a check and got some cash with the banker having that same black hair. _Oh no._ The voice was off and their hair was longer. It was this first encounter that made me realize that it would be like this _all_ day. I was not ready at all for today. Next stop was the hairdresser which went well, nothing really off there. I saw a few glances of black every now and again, which really made me anxious. Next was the grocery store.

  


Everything was going good, going amazing. I had my milk, I had my gogurt, and some spaghetti. As I went to get some bread though… I heard a familiar voice and… I couldn’t fathom my experience.  _ It’s his  _ **_voice_ ** _. _ This can’t be real. I looked through the aisle before moving around a corner and there it was his voice. But… it wasn’t him. I saw a couple of teens huddled together with their gaze on their phones. In an attempt to not look creepy I inspect the crackers, giving glances over. They seem to be on TikTok… which. I didn’t know he was on TikTok. I focus more on the content that his voice is creating and then it hits me…  _ a song _ . I knew he was a musician but I didn’t know if he’d be that easy to find. That’s when it hits me. The strikingly obvious thing I should’ve done from the very beginning. We live in the age of the internet, so  how the hell did I not think of searching his name. I memorized it ever since I saw it in the student directory; Corpse Husband. It’s an unusual name, but it just seemed so perfect for him. I grabbed a box of cheddar whales since it was closest to me and went back to grab the loaf of bread. His name echoes through my mind as I head towards the checkout. Disappointment did in fact loom over me but maybe I could find his face through his music. As I check out I search up his name and am met with more disappointment. This mysterious man hides his face, but there were plenty of fanarts that matched what I knew. I scrolled through them all and my imagination just flooded with all the combinations. Amongst my results was also a Spotify that intrigued me. I held off listening until I left the store and to my car, but once I got there I immediately clicked on the first song I could see;  _ E-GIRLS ARE RUINING MY LIFE.  _ It was the top in his most popular and I wanted to just get a taste. It takes a moment before the music plays, filling my vehicle with the deep bass and his deep voice. My eyes widen as I listen, not expecting something like this. I press pause before sighing softly, looking through the other songs. There aren’t very many, but a different one catches my eye;  _ Agoraphobic _ . The vibe of this one was a lot more calmed down, the gentle guitar strumming easing me down. The first song was nice, but right now it just kind of overwhelmed me. I sit back and listen to the man’s voice as he sings… raps? Either way, I found this one more calming for now, shutting my eyes and just enjoying the music for a moment. After Agoraphobic I started to drive home, listening to each and every single song. 

  


Once I arrived at home I laid on my bed and just listened to his songs on repeat, memorizing the lyrics as I heard each one. My eyes shut once more and the music overtakes me, my mind swirling with thoughts.  _ It’s almost like he’s in here with me… A momentary pause is a painful sting in my relaxation as I open my eyes to check and there he is. The man smiles down at me, his bright red eyes almost glowing with emotion. My eyes wander his body, trailing from his stained white shirt to his black jeans. He leans down, putting a hand on my cheek and strokes it with his thumb. His rings are cold against my skin, his beaded bracelets making a slight noise as I just admire the man before me. I sit up slightly and…  _ He’s gone. I was daydreaming, vivid daydreaming but vivid nonetheless. He wasn’t even here but I already miss him. I’m like a seaman drawn to the voice of a siren, wayward towards his enchanting song. I reluctantly reach over and close Spotify, taking a moment to be alone with my thoughts. The daydream lingers slightly, making me wonder what other fantasy my brain would’ve come up with if I had stayed in my trance. A shiver passes through me as my mind twists the innocent ideas, thoughts of what could be rather than the reality. I want and need him in my life.  _ How could I get him in my life.  _ No matter what though, I will find a way. No matter how hard or painful it is. I want to get to know him, whether it’s as a friend or a lover. A friend with or without benefits. I’ll be his and he’ll be mine in some way shape or form.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahha I'm sorry these are all so short and not worth the wait :') But I promise that I'll give some nice citrus to y'all. It'll be masturbation or a wet dream, I don't make the rules. I do actually but shush child


End file.
